In April 2021, I had just moved to Costa Rica and was getting to know one of my coworkers, Claudia, who today is a dear friend of mine (pictured left).
When I first noticed one of her tattoos, it left me perplexed. On her right arm was inscribed "it's me," and on the left, "vs. me." It took a while for the realization to sink in—it's me vs. me. Why was I pitting myself against myself? Why would it be me vs. me? Eventually, after seeing her tattoo many times, it finally clicked. It is not me vs. a colleague or me vs. my siblings; the conflict and battle is not against anyone else but against myself—my own flaws, limiting beliefs, and insecurities.
Every day it is my responsibility to step into the ring with myself, confront my shadow parts, and understand who I am at my core. It's not about comparing myself to others, trying to prove my worth by perceiving myself as above another person or living according to someone else's standards. Each of us has a unique path, and we cannot measure our progress and worth against someone else's life. The words of Hemingway perfectly encapsulate this message: "There is nothing noble in being superior to some other man. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self."
Our ego's desire to distinguish ourselves from others and feel superior can be a potent motivator that shapes our actions and self-image. This need to compare ourselves and assert our superiority can create resistance to change, making it difficult to observe our shadow parts and acknowledge personal areas for growth. And to make it worse, it is a rat race that will never truly end. We can spend our entire lives distracted, competing with the world around us and trying to sustain a sense of self based on being better than others. Or, we can change the game and discover the nobility in choosing to surpass our previous selves; it is not me vs. you or us vs. them, but instead me vs. me and you vs. you. The adventure of self-refinement is not about competing with others but pushing ourselves beyond our self-imposed limits and overcoming our shortcomings. By transcending our limitations and focusing on our personal growth, we can achieve authentic and long-lasting fulfillment.
Rather than focusing on outshining others or being better than someone else, why not aim to improve upon yesterday's self? What if you prioritized becoming the kind of person you would want to wake up next to each morning? In what ways would you choose to transform? It all comes down to one thing: you vs. you. Don't let external distractions cloud your vision of who you are meant to be. Instead, take the time to connect with yourself and explore who you are and who you could be. What is that person like? By consistently striving to refine yourself and transcend your previous self, you can cultivate a sense of self-worth that is independent of external validation and achieve a level of personal growth that is truly gratifying.